Playing the waiting game
So it’s now D-day +3, and I’m actually enjoying the wait. What I am finding frustrating is everyone’s assumption that I should be doing everything I can to get this Bean on the move. Well-meaning friends suggest raspberry leaf tea, kilos of pineapple and spicy curry (luckily not together). My midwife looked very surprised when I turned down a sweep just one day after my due date, already expecting to book me in for an induction. I find this strange. Firstly because only 5% of babies are born on their due date, so it’s clearly not unusual for them to be late. Secondly because French women are given a due date one week later than us Brits, again suggesting that it’s highly unlikely to be born at 40 weeks. So why are we so anxious to meddle and force the poor bugger out when he/she may not be ready to face the world yet? Is this symptomatic of our need to control even the most natural of experiences?
I’m definitely lucky because I’m still happily walking about (well, waddling), not feeling too huge, and not suffering from high blood pressure or anything that could compromise my baby’s safety (and of course, disregard ALL my chat if you are, as then it’s obviously crucial to get the little one out!). I’m taking these few weeks as a lesson in slowing down, weaning myself from my normal harried pace and constant brain stimulation, and learning to have afternoon naps without feeling guilty (ooh, so tough).
So this post was going to ask you about suggestions for getting labour going, but instead, what are the ‘lasts’ that I should be enjoying? I’m thinking chilled evenings with Bean-maker in front of the new stove, focussed conversation with friends, and time to cook long-winded experimental meals – let me know yours!
What should I pack in my hospital bag?
We’ve been given a few baby essentials lists over the last few months (aka Rat Tat), and a v useful one from the NCT on what to pack in your hospital bag. Having done a bit of cross referencing with friends and BabyCentre’s, here are the things I think we need.
For Me:
- hospital notes & birth plan
- toiletries including lip balm, toothbrush, toothpaste, makeup (for those 1st photos!)
- maternity pads (have you seen the size of those things?)
- cheap knickers that can be thrown away
- flip flops and warm socks
- button-through nightdress for skin-to-skin (advantage of running my own biz, I’m getting a pre-production sample of our fab new nightie sent so that I have it in time!) Otherwise they’ll be online from last week of Jan, or you could try our 3/4 sleeve nightdress with lace trim (it also has easy breastfeeding access)
- hair bobbles to tie back long hair
- J cloths and antibacterial spray
- flannel/water spray (though not sure how much I want the Bean maker tinkering with my face)
- pillows with old/dark pillow case
- nourishing snacks; cereal bars, bananas, chocolate, dextrose tablets
- 2 large bottles of water, one frozen which will defrost and stay cool, sugary drinks too (currently craving ginger beer and small cartons of OJ)
- straws for drinking
- herbal remedies if you want to use them (‘Natural Healing for Women’ recommends Caulophyllum 30 or 20o to strengthen contractions, Aconite 30 or 200 for fear and anxiety, Carbo Veg 30 or 200 for exhaustion, and Pulsatilla 30 or 200 for weak contractions). Obviously always check with your midwife
- TENS machine with batteries and spares if you want to use it
- breastfeeding bras and breast pads (I’ve just sent my order to the office for our Second Skin nursing bras and Second Skin organic sleep bras)
- dark coloured towel
- hot water bottle
- dressing gown
- ipod/MP3 with relaxing AND uplifting/energizing playlists + charger
For the Bean:
- 3 babygrows
- 3 vests
- newborn size nappies
- small plastic bottle (the kind that you take on holiday) with pure vegetable oil to coat baby’s bottom pre-meconium poo
- 3 muslins
- baby blanket
- car seat (and do a dummy run on how to fit it)
For Him:
- cash for the carpark
- camera (make sure it’s fully charged)
- sandwiches/snacks (don’t want him nipping down 5 floors to the shop because he’s got “low blood sugar”…)
- spare T-shirt
- swimmers if you want him in the birthing pool with you
- wash bag with toothpaste/toothbrush and deodorant
- watch with a second hand, or get him to download the contractions app for his iphone!
- your phone and his phone with contact lists of people you want to notify
So that’s about 3 suitcases then… Let me know if you think there’s anything on here not worth taking, or likewise, if I’ve forgotten something crucial!
Behind the scenes at our AW12 shoot
Wow, what a day. The photographer and client (for once, that’s me!) afflicted by horrible stonking colds, having to shoot in virtual darkness from 3pm, samples arriving on set with minutes to spare, zillions of products to shoot (biting off more than I can chew, story of my life), but… the results, as ever, look great. Congratulations Pete, and thanks to all the fab crew for their hard work and endless enthusiasm. Special mention to Mandy, whose A* colouring in skills made up for the shambles in China!
Michelle, our fab hair & makeup artist, who could get conversation out of a stone
ooh, treats!
Rolf Harris would be proud
Bump off
Pete getting a bead on
THAT's how you do Movember
And finally… a preview of one of our lovely shots
Did you enjoy your NCT classes?
We just finished our NCT antenatal course last Satur
day, and the Bean-maker and I were both really impressed at how good it was. We thought it might be a bit ‘knit your own placenta’ (our teacher’s own words!) but it was informative, non-judgmental, practical, funny and really useful. And of course we met some really lovely people too (initally the point of the whole thing) who no doubt will be a lifeline in those first few months, and hopefully beyond. I’ve heard that the teaching style can vary from region to region – you might be lucky or less so – but Dulwich/Nunhead gets a BIG thumbs up.
So do support the NCT (their shop offers some great discounts – even on our collections!), as it all goes to providing an amazing network of teachers, support, classes and helps fund research too.
Were you lucky with your group? Tell all!
Win a whole raft of goodies at MamaNana!
Our fab French friends MamaNana, specialists in lovely breastfeeding clothes (yes, they do exist!), are currently running a competition to win some (rather nice) Amoralia kit to pack in your hospital bag. That’s 2 nursing bras, a feeding top, a nursing nightie and babygrow – so at the very least you’ll be looking presentable for your first visitors (even if you don’t feel it…). All you need to do is tell them how you broke the news of your pregnancy to your partner – you can write a poem, a story, or even send in a sketch, whatever takes your creative fancy. Probably needs to be in French though – so the sketch is looking like the easier option!
Good luck!
Is antenatal yoga any good?
Having been horribly nauseous for most of my pregnancy, I’ve been distinctly de-motivated to do any kind of exercise (well that’s my excuse anyway). But with only 10 weeks to go I thought it was time to stretch out my hips out and start telling the bump which way is up, and which way is out. Cue Sitaram yoga, and a fabulous lady called Sue. She holds a variety of classes in South London, from pregnancy to postnatal, including postnatal with older babies. All taught in a lovely, calm way, without ever being too ‘mung-bean’ about it. I felt happily zen, relaxed, and limber afterwards – and crucially, not sore today. Time to book a course!
Really nice to meet other mums-to-be at similar stages who live locally – maybe we’ll meet again at NCT? Let us know what antenatal classes you recommend in your area!
What books have you found useful during your pregnancy?
All my new-Mum friends recommended What to Expect when you’re Expecting - a weighty tome that covers all the developmental stages, emotional ups and downs, and the questions you want to ask, but don’t think it’s worth bothering your midwife with.
For a bit of light relief (there’s only so much a girl can read about colostrum), I really enjoyed Mel Giedroyc’s From Here to Maternity – warm, honest and properly laugh-out-loud funny.
On the more academic side – how to deal with the little blighter when it makes its entry into the world – it’s definitely worth ready Oliver James’ How not to F*** them up. He looks at three broad mothering styles; the Organiser, the Hugger, and the Flexi-Mum, and (gently) outlines the pros and cons of each style. As a natural Organiser, it definitely made for some uncomfortable reading, but the research is thorough, the tone non-judgemental, and personally I like knowing all sides of the argument, even if you end up disagreeing with them. Plus, I’m such a HUGE fan of his previous book Affluenza (read it, now! I’ll lend you my copy!) that I respect pretty much all his work.
Fancy winning a copy of Anne Enright’s Making Babies? Send us details of the books, magazines or websites that you found most useful to info@amoralia.com by Fri 7th october and we’ll pick 3 winners out at random. Please remember to include your postal address!
My favourite maternity jeans (and I’m hard to please)
… have to be the Grace jeans from Queen Mum. I’ve tried cheapy high street brands (with aforementioned addiction to Doritos, I feel that I’m going to be zooming up the size range and don’t really want to invest), but they bag in strange places, don’t quite stay up, and aren’t particularly comfortable. Cue jeans from a proper maternity brand.
First of all the fit: slim leg, with a cool little zip detail on the calf (anything to draw attention away from the bum area), with enough elastane to smooth out those lumps and bumps. Well placed, flattering pockets.
Then, the functional bits: a deliciously soft, stretchy panel that goes over your bump, and stays up! Then, a clever adjustable elastic inside the waistband that can be tightened using little buttons, and which means again, the jeans stay up, without feeling constricting.
Grey denim, nicely styled with white maternity vest, chambray shirt, something spangly and sparkly, and some cute pumps. That’s one outfit sorted! They’re stocked by Pretty Pregnant, who have various branches in London, in Edinburgh and sell online too.
After 6 years, I finally get to wear my own bras!
Yep, I’m officially 24 weeks pregnant. I’ve always believed that running this business without first hand experience of pregnancy has been a real advantage, because I’ve never relied on my own preferences; instead seeking out lots of opinions and different points of view to create a collection that appeals to a broad customer base.
But I finally get to try out all our styles and put them through their paces! And quelle surprise, my favourite so far is our Second Skin maternity bra. Having gone up 2 cup sizes already (dear God, at last!), I really needed something soft and breathable that would show off my new bosoms… Personally I love the foam pads, as I’ve always worn padded T-shirt bras, but a couple of my other pregnant friends prefer not to add extra bulk as they’re already quite busty ladies.
Unfortunately, the companion to big bosoms and constant nausea is a HUGE arse (mainlining Doritos to try and get rid of the lovely rancid butter/battery acid combo). Second Skin shorts are also my saviours, as they don’t dig in, they’re generously sized so I can still pretend I’m a size S, and they stretch and stretch. And stretch.
10 steps to your perfect baby shower
Baby showers are everywhere these days. From over-indulgent American celebrity gift-fests (yes Mariah) to a quiet tea amongst friends, there’s a baby shower out there that you can enjoy – we promise! So don’t feel bad about asking your best friend to organise it for you. It might sound like a whole load of work but our easy step-by-step guide will definitely take the pain out of the whole thing. Just forward this newsletter to her and we promise, she’ll be happy to organise this special event for you. So let’s get started…
Step 1 Guest List
A good guest list will break or make the party. It’s worth considering whether you want to invite other halves, kids & babies or restrict it to a girls-only event, whether you invite co-workers or keep it small by just inviting family and your closest friends. In our experience, 8 – 10 guests makes for a fun, inclusive event. Don’t forget to invite both grand-mothers-to-be. If you’re lucky they might even bake some tasty and irresistible cakes for your buffet!
Step 2 Location
Hosting your party at home is probably the most personal and cosy option. However unusual venues such as church dining halls and elegant reception rooms can give it that special touch. Here are our London Top 3:
- Style: Lanesborough Hotel
This charming, trad and very British location in the heart of London will be the icing on the cake of your party. It’s obviously pricy, but worth it if you really want to treat the mum-to-be.
- Budget: Public Park
There’s certainly nothing more relaxing and atmospheric than being surrounded by the beauty of nature. Bring picnic rugs, folding chairs and warm clothes for the British summer!
You and your guests will be amazed by the stunning view from the large outdoor terrace.
Step 3 Invitation Card
It’s always lovely to get a hand-written invite that matches the theme of your baby shower. There are plenty of companies who can do this job for you. Our recommendations:
Don’t forget to mention the approximate duration of your baby shower (e.g. 3 – 6 pm) and ask your invitees to RSVP.
Step 4 Decoration
It’s completely up to you whether you go subtle with flowers, girly with butterflies or all-out with branded balloons. Try bestbabyshower.co.uk for an extensive selection.
Let your imagination run free! Remember some nice background music too.
Step 5 Gifts
A baby shower registry is the easiest way to let people know what you’d be thrilled to receive. John Lewis provides you with an online list which is easy to set up and their nursery advisors help you to choose the best kit for your needs.
If you’re feeling British about it and you think it might be a bit too much to ask your friends for the whole baby kit, here are 3 suggestions for gifts that won’t break the bank:
- Amoralia Love from nightdress & babygrow gift set (£ 49.-)
- DVDs to keep you entertained (and awake) during those nighttime feedings or some soothing CDs. We love Karl Jenkins and Helen Jane Long.
- Babysitter and restaurant gift-certificates for a parents’ night out. Giftcarddesigner.com provides you with premium design templates.
If you feel like it, a charity donation is a lovely alternative gift. The Children’s Cancer and Leukaemia Group or Tommy’s Charity are great causes to support. Here’s how you can easily set up your own charity page: justgiving.com
Step 6 Food
Little bits of finger food are the best option for a mouth-watering buffet. Go for all kinds of antipasti, dips, canapés and sandwiches but bear in mind that you should avoid any uncooked meats (no parma ham, paté, smoked salmon and sushi). Even though you’re not allowed to sip at your flute of champagne either, you should definitely enjoy Jamie Oliver’s delicous ginger beer. For a special treat (or two…) prettily decorated cupcakes are a must-have.
Step 7 Entertainment
Our Top 3 games will keep your guests entertained and add a light-hearted and relaxed touch:
- Guessing size of the future mum’s tummy (e.g. with a string of toilet paper)
- Guessing baby pictures of guests
- Guessing the animal baby (e.g. What’s the name for a sheep’s baby?)
Even though games are traditionally part of baby showers, do feel free to put in place a no-games policy with the main emphasis on great drinks, food and chat instead.
Step 8 Favours
It’s always lovely to receive a little something when you leave a good party. Flowers speak louder than words, so a little symbolic forget-me-not plant for each of your friends will round off your perfect baby shower afternoon.
Step 9 Keepsakes
Imagine the 10th birthday of your daughter or son and how lovely it would be to have a record of that special day to show them. Give guests disposable cameras so that the pressure’s not on you. You can then use the best pictures afterwards as thank-you cards. Or ask a professional photographer to pop by for an hour or two.
Another lovely keepsake is a baby book with your guests’ wishes and signatures. Our favourite is the gorgeously soft bedtime snuggle book “Guess how much I love you”.
Step 10 Budget
Your perfect baby shower should come in at around £ 190.- (for 10 guests including invitation cards, decoration, food & drinks, favours and keepsakes). Obviously your choice of venue will have a big impact on the final cost.
Last but not least
We genuinely hope that we’ve left you with plenty of inspiration for your own baby shower. However, if you’re still not convinced that you could nail it yourself and can’t fall back on a good friend, there’s still a plan B. Here are our Top 3 professional organisers who will plan the whole thing from A to Z so that you don’t have to worry about a thing:
